Forgiveness and Healing: The Children’s Bread

Healing is the children’s bread (Matthew 15:26). It was never meant to be withheld. Never meant to be earned. It is a birthright in the Kingdom of God—an inheritance for those adopted into the family of Christ. And forgiveness? That’s the yeast in the bread. Without it, nothing rises. Nothing nourishes. Nothing lasts.

Healing begins within. It begins when we are willing to confront not only the pain done to us, but also the pain we’ve caused. To ask for forgiveness, to offer it, and—sometimes the hardest part—to give it to ourselves. Healing requires us to take radical responsibility, not to carry shame, but to shake off every chain so that our children never have to carry what we did not have the courage to face.

I remember one night, I was so frustrated with my daughter for waking the entire house in the middle of the night. At first, I reacted with sharpness—my voice, my tone, the temperature of the room all spiked with that frustration. But I felt it. I knew that what I was expressing was not the truth of my spirit. I cried out to God right there in the hallway. "Help me, Lord. Help me be the mother You designed me to be."

I returned to her bedside and sat in the dark. The frustration cracked. It gave way to something deeper and truer.

“This is not the kind of mommy I want to be,” I whispered. “I’m not angry at you, honey. I’m actually six kinds of sad.”

I slowed everything down. I named the sadness—how I felt grieved that her siblings were woken up unkindly, that no one was sleeping now, that I wasn’t being considered, that she was struggling too, and that I missed her daddy, who was out of town. We cried together. I kissed her forehead, held her close, and loved her in the place we both needed healing.

I knew I wouldn't sleep much more that night. But as I lay in bed, the Lord began to minister to me. He reminded me of His Word:

“You shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation… but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.”
— Exodus 20:5–6

I had read this scripture before and struggled with it. But in the stillness, it became clear. Generational iniquity isn’t just about judgment—it’s about the ripple effect of pain, unhealed and handed down. But mercy—mercy is offered to the thousands. And that night, mercy was handed to me. I saw my mother. I saw my grandmother. And I saw myself. My mother had done her best, despite not having the affection and safety a child should receive. Her best was more than her mother’s. And mine, with all its messiness and beauty, was more than hers.

Forgiveness washed over me. Not as a task, but as a truth. I was the living proof of redemption in motion. And I realized—my daughter will be the mother I always wanted to be. Not because I am forcing her to be, but because she is growing in the atmosphere of love, repentance, honesty, and faith that I was only just learning to cultivate.

This is what breaking a generational curse looks like. Not perfection. Not pretending. But truth, accountability, grace, and wisdom.

“Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.”
— Proverbs 3:15

We’re not building our legacy on gold or silver but on the Word of God—on the wisdom that transforms hearts and softens our parenting. It makes us a safe place for our children, just as God is a refuge for us.

“The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run into it and are safe.”
— Proverbs 18:10

We forgive because we are forgiven (Colossians 3:13). We heal because healing was paid for (Isaiah 53:5). And we raise children not to become trophies of our pain or puppets of our will, but torch-bearers of grace, who run farther and freer than we ever could.

This is the children’s bread. May we eat it with humility, may we pass it freely, and may every generation after us be full.

Reflection & Journaling Prompts

1. In what areas of your life do you still need to offer or receive forgiveness?
2. Can you identify any generational patterns that you are working to break?
3. How does God's mercy give you strength to become a safer person for yourself and your family?
4. Write a letter to yourself as a child—offering love, grace, and healing.
5. What wisdom are you cultivating now that you hope your children will inherit?